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It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
The human spirit is indomitable, unless your talking specifically about the people I know.
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
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Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
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Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.
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Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.
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Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.
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I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
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Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys.
Dov Davidoff
When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
Dov Davidoff
Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
Dov Davidoff
When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
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Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right?
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
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Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
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Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
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I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
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Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
Dov Davidoff