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It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Depressed
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A lot of people in a LA need to take a break from taking a break.
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Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.
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Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend.
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?
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You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
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If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
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When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
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Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.
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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
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Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
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You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.
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Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
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The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.
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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
Dov Davidoff