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When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
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Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.
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White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
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Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.
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Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
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America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
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Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.
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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
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People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
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The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.
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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
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Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.
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Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.
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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
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