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People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Rarely
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Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are.
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
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Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.
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Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
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Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.
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Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.
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We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
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Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.
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Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
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Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
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Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
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I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.
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My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.
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Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
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