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People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Rarely
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
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The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
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Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.
Dov Davidoff
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What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
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Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
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You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.
Dov Davidoff
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How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
Dov Davidoff
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Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.
Dov Davidoff
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
Dov Davidoff
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Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
Dov Davidoff
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Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.
Dov Davidoff
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I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
Dov Davidoff
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Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
Dov Davidoff
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Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.
Dov Davidoff
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Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.
Dov Davidoff
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Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.
Dov Davidoff
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Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.
Dov Davidoff
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Is it a bad sign when you see the person you're dating and get the same feeling as if you just saw police lights in you're rear view mirror?
Dov Davidoff
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I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.
Dov Davidoff