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People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Rarely
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.
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Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
Dov Davidoff
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A lot of people in a LA need to take a break from taking a break.
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Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
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Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.
Dov Davidoff
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The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.
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Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
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You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.
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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
Dov Davidoff
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
Dov Davidoff
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
Dov Davidoff
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Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
Dov Davidoff
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America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
Dov Davidoff
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You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.
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Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
Dov Davidoff
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Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
Dov Davidoff
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It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
Dov Davidoff
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If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.
Dov Davidoff
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The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.
Dov Davidoff
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Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
Dov Davidoff