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No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
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Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
Dov Davidoff
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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
Dov Davidoff
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A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
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Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.
Dov Davidoff
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People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.
Dov Davidoff
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The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.
Dov Davidoff
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Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
Dov Davidoff
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Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.
Dov Davidoff
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
Dov Davidoff
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Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.
Dov Davidoff
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America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
Dov Davidoff
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You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
Dov Davidoff
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Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.
Dov Davidoff
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Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys.
Dov Davidoff
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Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
Dov Davidoff
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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
Dov Davidoff