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No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
Dov Davidoff
Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
Dov Davidoff
People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
Dov Davidoff
Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
Dov Davidoff
Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
Dov Davidoff
Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.
Dov Davidoff
The human spirit is indomitable, unless your talking specifically about the people I know.
Dov Davidoff
Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.
Dov Davidoff
Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys.
Dov Davidoff
Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
Dov Davidoff
I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren't, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included.
Dov Davidoff
How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
Dov Davidoff
Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?
Dov Davidoff
Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
Dov Davidoff
Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
Dov Davidoff
Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
Dov Davidoff
Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.
Dov Davidoff
Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.
Dov Davidoff
Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
Dov Davidoff
The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
Dov Davidoff