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People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
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Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
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Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
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I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
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The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.
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I'm passionate about gay rights, but I think we need admit that there are some gay wrongs as well.
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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
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Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
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Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.
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Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
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When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
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My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
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The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.
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False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
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Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
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