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People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.
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America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
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I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.
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Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
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Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are.
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Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
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Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.
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Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.
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Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.
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Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.
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Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.
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What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
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Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.
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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
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How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
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I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.
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Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
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My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.
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Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.
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Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.
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