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Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.
Dov Davidoff
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Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.
Dov Davidoff
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We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
Dov Davidoff
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Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
Dov Davidoff
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
Dov Davidoff
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I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
Dov Davidoff
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You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
Dov Davidoff
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If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.
Dov Davidoff
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
Dov Davidoff
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Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.
Dov Davidoff
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
Dov Davidoff
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Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.
Dov Davidoff
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I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.
Dov Davidoff
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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
Dov Davidoff
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If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
Dov Davidoff
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I'm passionate about gay rights, but I think we need admit that there are some gay wrongs as well.
Dov Davidoff
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Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
Dov Davidoff
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It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
Dov Davidoff
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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
Dov Davidoff
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Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
Dov Davidoff