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Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.
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It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
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Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
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False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.
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When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.
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The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.
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Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
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Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.
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A lot of people in a LA need to take a break from taking a break.
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Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
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When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
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I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.
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My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
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Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.
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Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
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White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
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Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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