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Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
Everybody
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.
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The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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Is it a bad sign when you see the person you're dating and get the same feeling as if you just saw police lights in you're rear view mirror?
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Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
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Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
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If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
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My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
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I'd put my faith in god, but I haven't met him, and I've been hurt before.
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Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
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Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.
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TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.
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I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.
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Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.
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I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
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I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.
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Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.
Dov Davidoff