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The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Electricity
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Health
Free
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Life

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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
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People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
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The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
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Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
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Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.
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I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
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Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.
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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
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Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.
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People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are.
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If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
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Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.
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