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It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Effects
Beauty
Often
Effect
Shame
Physical
Negative

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When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
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You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.
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Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
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Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
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A lot of people in a LA need to take a break from taking a break.
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I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.
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My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
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Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
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Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
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Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
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When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
Dov Davidoff