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Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Taking
Wasn
Class
Thinking
Whew
Gay
Realized
Yoga
Close

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The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.
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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.
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I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
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Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.
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Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.
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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
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How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
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Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.
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Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
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Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
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You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.
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I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.
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It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant.
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.
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Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
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Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
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