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Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
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Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.
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Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
Dov Davidoff
I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.
Dov Davidoff
I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.
Dov Davidoff
Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
Dov Davidoff
MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.
Dov Davidoff
If you got it, flaunt it may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else.
Dov Davidoff
You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
Dov Davidoff
People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
Dov Davidoff
When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
Dov Davidoff
If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
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If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
Dov Davidoff
I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
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I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
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We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
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The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.
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If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.
Dov Davidoff