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Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
Dov Davidoff
If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
Dov Davidoff
Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
Dov Davidoff
Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
Dov Davidoff
I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
Dov Davidoff
Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
Dov Davidoff
Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
Dov Davidoff
Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.
Dov Davidoff
Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
Dov Davidoff
It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
Dov Davidoff
Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
Dov Davidoff
Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
Dov Davidoff
I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren't, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included.
Dov Davidoff
Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
Dov Davidoff
Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
Dov Davidoff
My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.
Dov Davidoff
Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.
Dov Davidoff
Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys.
Dov Davidoff
Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
Dov Davidoff
Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.
Dov Davidoff