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Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.
Dov Davidoff
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Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.
Dov Davidoff
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The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.
Dov Davidoff
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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
Dov Davidoff
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Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.
Dov Davidoff
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I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.
Dov Davidoff
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We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
Dov Davidoff
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Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
Dov Davidoff
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Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.
Dov Davidoff
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Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.
Dov Davidoff
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Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
Dov Davidoff
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Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
Dov Davidoff
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
Dov Davidoff
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Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
Dov Davidoff
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White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.
Dov Davidoff
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Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
Dov Davidoff
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It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
Dov Davidoff
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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
Dov Davidoff
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Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
Dov Davidoff
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Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
Dov Davidoff