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Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
Dov Davidoff
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Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are.
Dov Davidoff
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
Dov Davidoff
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Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
Dov Davidoff
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Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.
Dov Davidoff
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Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
Dov Davidoff
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If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.
Dov Davidoff
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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
Dov Davidoff
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Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
Dov Davidoff
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I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
Dov Davidoff
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America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
Dov Davidoff
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
Dov Davidoff
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Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.
Dov Davidoff
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Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.
Dov Davidoff
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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
Dov Davidoff
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Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.
Dov Davidoff
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
Dov Davidoff
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The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.
Dov Davidoff
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When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
Dov Davidoff
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My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
Dov Davidoff