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Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
Dov Davidoff
Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.
Dov Davidoff
TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.
Dov Davidoff
Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.
Dov Davidoff
If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.
Dov Davidoff
Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.
Dov Davidoff
Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
Dov Davidoff
Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
Dov Davidoff
The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.
Dov Davidoff
Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
Dov Davidoff
The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.
Dov Davidoff
Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.
Dov Davidoff
Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.
Dov Davidoff
Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.
Dov Davidoff
You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.
Dov Davidoff
When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
Dov Davidoff
It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
Dov Davidoff
Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
Dov Davidoff
Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
Dov Davidoff
False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.
Dov Davidoff
