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Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.
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It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
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Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
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Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
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I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
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Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.
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Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.
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I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.
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I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.
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Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
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You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.
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Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
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Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
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Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.
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When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.
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Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
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We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.
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