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Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
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TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.
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Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.
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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
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Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
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If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
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I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
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Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.
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Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.
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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
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Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.
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Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.
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Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.
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The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.
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Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
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Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
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