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If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Comfortable
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Woman
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Unhappiness

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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
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Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.
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People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
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Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.
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Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
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The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.
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Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
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I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.
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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
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Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
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Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.
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It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
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Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.
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I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
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If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.
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Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.
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I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
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