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If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Comfortable
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America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
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You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.
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I'd put my faith in god, but I haven't met him, and I've been hurt before.
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My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.
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Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
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When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.
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Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.
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Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.
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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
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Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
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Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
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I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
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Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.
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Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
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Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
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Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
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