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Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Gym
Remind
Mirrors
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Less
Men
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
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Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.
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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
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Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
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Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
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People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
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Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
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Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
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America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
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People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
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Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.
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The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
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Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
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Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.
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