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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant.
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Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
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Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
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The human spirit is indomitable, unless your talking specifically about the people I know.
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I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
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The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.
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People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.
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Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.
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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
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A lot of people in a LA need to take a break from taking a break.
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Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
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Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.
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My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.
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The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.
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If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.
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Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
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If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
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Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
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Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.
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You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.
Dov Davidoff