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Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.
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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
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Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
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The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.
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The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
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I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.
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Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.
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Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?
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Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.
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When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.
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Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.
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My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
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Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
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How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
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No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.
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The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.
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Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
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Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.
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What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
Dov Davidoff