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Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Love
Iphone
Life
Whoever
Worth
Living
Didn
Without
Great
Things

More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.
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Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.
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Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.
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Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
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Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.
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Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
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Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
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Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
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Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
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You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
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America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.
Dov Davidoff
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
Dov Davidoff
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
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My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
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When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.
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Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.
Dov Davidoff
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
Dov Davidoff