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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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Jokes
More quotes by Dov Davidoff
I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
Dov Davidoff
If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
Dov Davidoff
We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.
Dov Davidoff
Comedy is rarely funny.
Dov Davidoff
The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.
Dov Davidoff
My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.
Dov Davidoff
I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.
Dov Davidoff
You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.
Dov Davidoff
Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.
Dov Davidoff
The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.
Dov Davidoff
Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.
Dov Davidoff
False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.
Dov Davidoff
My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.
Dov Davidoff
Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
Dov Davidoff
Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.
Dov Davidoff
Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
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We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
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Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.
Dov Davidoff
I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
Dov Davidoff
The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.
Dov Davidoff