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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Start
Writing
Good
Funnier
Think
Dressings
Thinking
Dressing
Requires
Jokes
Effort

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Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
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Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
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If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.
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I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
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If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.
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You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
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Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend.
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Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
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Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
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Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are.
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Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.
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Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
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The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.
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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
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I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
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People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.
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It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
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