Quote

Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Thinking
Dressing
Requires
Jokes
Effort
Start
Writing
Good
Funnier
Think
Dressings

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I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
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The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.
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If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
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When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with listen up doll face.
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The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.
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Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.
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Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.
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I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
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Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
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I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren't, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included.
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Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
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Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
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Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
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Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.
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If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.
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Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.
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Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
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