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When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
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You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.
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America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
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Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
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Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
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Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.
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What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
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Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
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When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.
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When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
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Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are.
Dov Davidoff
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Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
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Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
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Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
Dov Davidoff