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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Take
Hating
Chicks
Hot
Seriously
Personality
Hate
Ends
America
Chick

More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
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Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.
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Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
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Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
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When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with listen up doll face.
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You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.
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Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
Dov Davidoff
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Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
Dov Davidoff
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Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
Dov Davidoff
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Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.
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Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend.
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Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.
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I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.
Dov Davidoff
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Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.
Dov Davidoff
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People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.
Dov Davidoff
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Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
Dov Davidoff
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My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
Dov Davidoff
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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
Dov Davidoff