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America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
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No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.
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White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.
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Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.
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It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant.
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What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
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Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.
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Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
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Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
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Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
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Hard to explain to a guard dog that you need it to protect you from yourself.
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Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.
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If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.
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Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.
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You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.
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Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right?
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People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.
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Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
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MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.
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