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I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
Unattractive
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
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Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.
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Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.
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The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.
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The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.
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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
Dov Davidoff
A lot of people in a LA need to take a break from taking a break.
Dov Davidoff
Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
Dov Davidoff
Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
Dov Davidoff
I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.
Dov Davidoff
Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.
Dov Davidoff
I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.
Dov Davidoff
Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.
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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
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My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
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I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
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You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
Dov Davidoff