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I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.
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The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.
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Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
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When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.
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The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.
Dov Davidoff
America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
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Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.
Dov Davidoff
I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
Dov Davidoff
The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.
Dov Davidoff
Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.
Dov Davidoff
People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
Dov Davidoff
Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.
Dov Davidoff
Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.
Dov Davidoff
Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.
Dov Davidoff
Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
Dov Davidoff
Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.
Dov Davidoff
Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.
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I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
Dov Davidoff