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Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
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My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.
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I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.
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Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
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The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
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I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
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Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
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When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.
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Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.
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No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.
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People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
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If you got it, flaunt it may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else.
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We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
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Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
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I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
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Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
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False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.
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