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Christmas makes everything twice as sad.

Douglas Coupland

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Douglas Coupland
Age: 62
Born: 1961
Born: December 30
Artist
Designer
Fashion Designer
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Sculptor
Writer
Douglas Campbell Coupland
Twice
Christmas
Makes
Everything

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Men won't read any email from a woman that's over 200 words long.
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And then sometimes I think the people to feel saddest for are people who once knew what profoundness was, but who lost or became numb to the sensation of wonder – people who closed the doors that leads us into the secret world – or who had the doors closed for them by time and neglect and decisions made in times of weakness.
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I say ‘Uhmm...’ a lot. I mentioned this to Karla and she says it’s a CPU word. It means you’re assembling data in your head - spooling.
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I tried to think of a witty play on Every picture tells a thousand words, but then the whole word/picture thing collapsed on me.
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The only way to the top is killing and greed. Okay, I'm kidding. But killing helps.
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I've got 911 on speed dial.
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Salad bars are like a restaurant's lungs. They soak up the impurities and bacteria in the environment, leaving you with much cleaner air to enjoy.
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Technology favors horrible people.
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STRANGELOVE REPRODUCTION: Having children to make up for the fact that one no longer believes in the future.
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There's nothing cute or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off.
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I have trouble with seafood because it tastes like a dock.
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Americans are a quarter of a billion people who have almost nothing in common except for the fact they've been told they have lots in common.
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Once he entered my life, I promptly forgot all my years of putting on a brave face while browsing at bookstores until closing time, and of having one, two, three beers while watching crime shows and CNN. I completely forgot the hateful sensation of loneliness, like thirst and hunger together pressing on my stomach.
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I'd take a helicopter up and throw microwave ovens down on the Taco Bell.
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The best part of my life is gone, and what remains is whizzing past so quickly I feel like I'm Krazy-Glue'ed onto a mechanical bull of a time machine.
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I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.
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What exactly is it that humans do that is specifically human? There has to be something. How odd it is for billions of people to be alive, yet not one of them is really quite sure of what makes people people.
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And in his heart, I think, he's now learned what I came to believe, which is, as I've said all along, that the sun may burn brightly, and the faces of children may be plump and achingly sweet, but in the air we breathe, in the water we drink and in the food we share, there will always be darkness in this world.
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The future and eternity are two entirely different things.
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If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween.
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