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I sandpapered the roof of my mouth with 3 bowls of Cap'n Crunch - had raw gobbets of mouth-beef dangling onto my tongue all day

Douglas Coupland

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Douglas Coupland
Age: 62
Born: 1961
Born: December 30
Artist
Designer
Fashion Designer
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Sculptor
Writer
Douglas Campbell Coupland
Mouth
Tongue
Dangling
Mouths
Crunch
Caps
Beef
Bowls
Roof
Onto

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And then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can't ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it's already happened.
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Flying dreams mean that you're doing the right thing with your life.
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Once he entered my life, I promptly forgot all my years of putting on a brave face while browsing at bookstores until closing time, and of having one, two, three beers while watching crime shows and CNN. I completely forgot the hateful sensation of loneliness, like thirst and hunger together pressing on my stomach.
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I say ‘Uhmm...’ a lot. I mentioned this to Karla and she says it’s a CPU word. It means you’re assembling data in your head - spooling.
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At least there's nothing scary about him and hopefully he doesn't see anything scary in me. We go way back, to summer camp. We KNOW each other. People I don't know just make me want to say YIKES! I'll take history over mystery any day of the week.
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Why do most of us make such boring choices for the stories of our lives?
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We live in an era with no historical precedents. History is no longer useful as a tool in helping us understand current changes.
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Gap clothing allows you to look like you're from nowhere and anywhere.
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Most people can't handle a structureless life.
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We need to be around our families not because we have so many shared experiences to talk about, but instead because they know precisely which subjects to avoid.
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So where do you start when you want to start your life again?
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I've got 911 on speed dial.
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Where does personality end and brain damage begin?
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You can have information or you can have a life, but you can't have both.
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Men won't read any email from a woman that's over 200 words long.
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Sometimes I think God is like weather - you may not like the weather, but it has nothing to do with you. You just happen to be there. Deal with it. Sadness and grief are part of being human and always will be.
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Ski boots are the worst. Solid plastic. They'll be around till the sun goes supernova.
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Give parents the tiniest of confidences and they'll use them as crowbars to jimmy you open and rearrange your life with no perspective.
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Good looking people with strong, fluoridated teeth get things handed to them on platters.
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It's starts out young- you try not be different just to survive- you try to be just like everyone else- anonymity becomes reflexive- and then one day you wake up and you've become all those other people- the others- the something you aren't. And you wonder if you can ever be what it is you really are. Or you wonder if it's too late to find out.
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