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If you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language.

Douglas Adams

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Douglas Adams
Age: 49 †
Born: 1952
Born: March 11
Died: 2001
Died: May 11
Comedian
Novelist
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Douglas Noel Adams
Douglas Noël Adams
Douglas N. Adams
Fishes
Sticks
Ears
Language
Understand
Babel
Form
Instantly
Anything
Fish
Stick

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Can't stand all these poisonous creatures, all these snakes and insects and fish and things. Wretched things, biting everybody. And then people expect me to tell them what to do about it. I'll tell them what to do. Don't get bitten in the first place. (quoting Dr. Struan Sutherland)
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I have always been absurdly, ridiculously tall. To give you an idea- when we went on school trips to Interesting and Improving Places, the form-master wouldn't say Meet under the clock tower, or Meet under the War Memorial, but Meet under Adams.
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Don't spin your wheels and stress. Take a deep breath, center yourself and make a plan.
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Don't blame you, said Marvin and counted five hundred and ninety-seven thousand million sheep before falling asleep again a second later.
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Dirk turned on the car wipers, which grumbled because they didn't have quite enough rain to wipe away, so he turned them off again. Rain quickly speckled the windscreen. He turned on the wipers again, but they still refused to feel that the exercise was worthwhile, and scraped and squeaked in protest.
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Arthur felt happy. He was terribly pleased that the day was for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago he had decided he would go mad, and now here he was already chasing a Chesterfield sofa across the fields of prehistoric Earth.
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He had extracted himself from the Cambridge one-way system by the usual method, which involved going round and round it faster and faster until he achieved a sort of escape velocity and flew off at a tangent in a random direction, which he was now trying to identify and correct for.
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The teacher usually learns more than the pupils. Isn't that true? It would be hard to learn much less than my pupils, came a low growl from somewhere on the table, without undergoing a pre-frontal lobotomy.
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When people you greatly admire appear to be thinking deep thoughts, they probably are thinking about lunch.
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Plenty of people did not care for him much, but then there is a huge difference between disliking somebody - maybe even disliking them a lot - and actually shooting them, strangling them, dragging them through the fields and setting their house on fire.
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A theory of the universe that states: If anyone finds out what the universe is for, it will disappear and be replaced by something more bizarrely inexplicable.
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Even a manically depressed robot is better to talk to than nobody.
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The bowler approached the wicket at a lope, a trot, and then a run. He suddenly exploded in a flurry of arms and legs, out of which flew a ball.
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There are two things you should remember when dealing with parallel universes. One, they're not really parallel, and two, they're not really universes
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I say what it occurs to me to say when I think I hear people say things. More I cannot say.
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You can't dodge your responsibilities by saying they don't exist!
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Looking up into the night sky is looking into infinity — distance is incomprehensible and therefore meaningless
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Don't you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn't developed all those filters which prevent us from seeing things that we don't expect to see.
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He turned slowly like a fridge door opening.
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I'm 48, which is a bit of a shock to me. Why only last year I thought I was a precocious young thing!
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