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I wanted to be John Cleese. It took me some time to realise that the job was taken.

Douglas Adams

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Douglas Adams
Age: 49 †
Born: 1952
Born: March 11
Died: 2001
Died: May 11
Comedian
Novelist
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Douglas Noel Adams
Douglas Noël Adams
Douglas N. Adams
Wanted
Time
Realise
Realising
John
Took
Taken
Jobs

More quotes by Douglas Adams

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Even light, which travels so fast it takes most races thousands of years to realize that it travels at all, takes time to journey between the stars.
Douglas Adams
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Arthur shook his head and sat down. He looked up. “I thought you must be dead …” he said simply. “So did I for a while,” said Ford, “and then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks. I kept myself amused all that time jumping in and out of a gin and tonic.
Douglas Adams
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A life that is burdened with expectations is a heavy life. Its fruit is sorrow and disappointment.
Douglas Adams
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You ARE Zaphod Beeblebrox?' 'Yeah,' said Zaphod, 'but don't shout it out or they'll all want one.' 'THE Zaphod Beeblebrox?' 'No, just A Zaphod Beeblebrox, didn't you hear I come in six packs?' 'But sir,' it squealed, 'I just heard on the sub-ether radio report. It said you were dead...' 'Yeah, that's right, I just haven't stopped moving yet.
Douglas Adams
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What does it matter? Science has achieved some wonderful things, of course, but I'd far rather be happy than right any day.
Douglas Adams
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If they don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.
Douglas Adams
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How many roads must a man walk down?
Douglas Adams
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He would have felt safe if alongside the Dentrassis' underwear, the piles of Sqornshellous mattresses and the man from Betelgeuse holding up a small yellow fish and offering to put it in his ear he had been able to see just a small packet of cornflakes. But he couldn't, and he didn't feel safe.
Douglas Adams
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Please relax, said the voice pleasantly, like a stewardess in an airliner with only one wing and two engines one of which is on fire, you are perfectly safe.
Douglas Adams
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The bowler approached the wicket at a lope, a trot, and then a run. He suddenly exploded in a flurry of arms and legs, out of which flew a ball.
Douglas Adams
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Aberystwyth (n.) A nostalgic yearning which is in itself more pleasant than the thing being yearned for.
Douglas Adams
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Please call me Eddie if it will help you to relax.
Douglas Adams
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Very strange people, physicists - in my experience the ones who aren't dead are in some way very ill.
Douglas Adams
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Here's what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that alcohol is a colourless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms.
Douglas Adams
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There are two things you should remember when dealing with parallel universes. One, they're not really parallel, and two, they're not really universes
Douglas Adams
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I find that writing is a constant battle with exactly the same problems you've always had.
Douglas Adams
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Let us be dreamers, thinkers, speculative philosophers, or as our spouses would have it: Idiots
Douglas Adams
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The simple truth is that interstellar distances will not fit into the human imagination.
Douglas Adams
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There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
Douglas Adams
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Really, the moment you have any idea, the second thought that enters your mind after the original idea is, What is this? Is it a book, is it a movie, is it a this, is it a that, is it a short story, is it a breakfast cereal? Really, from that moment, your decision about what kind of thing it is then determines how it develops.
Douglas Adams