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I don't say that I don't believe in God because that implies that there is a God for me not to believe in.

Douglas Adams

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Douglas Adams
Age: 49 †
Born: 1952
Born: March 11
Died: 2001
Died: May 11
Comedian
Novelist
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Douglas Noel Adams
Douglas Noël Adams
Douglas N. Adams
Implies
Believe

More quotes by Douglas Adams

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Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it, said Marvin. And what happened? pressed Ford. It committed suicide, said Marvin and stalked off back to the Heart of Gold.
Douglas Adams
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It seemed to me,' said Wonko the Sane, 'that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a package of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane.
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Here's what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that alcohol is a colourless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms.
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A fragrant breeze wandered up from the quiet sea, trailed along the beach, and drifted back to the sea again, wondering where to go next. On a mad impulse it went up to the beach again. It drifted back to sea.
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Ford looked at him severely. And no sneaky knocking down Mr Dent's house whilst he's away, alright? he said. The mere thought, growled Mr Prosser, hadn't even begun to speculate, he continued, settling himself back, about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.
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All you really need to know for the moment is that the universe is a lot more complicated than you might think, even if you start from a position of thinking it's pretty damn complicated in the first place.
Douglas Adams
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How can I tell, said the man, that the past isn't a fiction designed to account for the discrepancy between my immediate physical sensations and my state of mind?
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The difference between us and a computer is that, the computer is blindingly stupid, but it is capable of being stupid many, many million times a second.
Douglas Adams
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Who is this god person anyway?
Douglas Adams
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You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
Douglas Adams
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They live in perpetual fear of the time they call The Coming of the Great White Handkerchief
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He had extracted himself from the Cambridge one-way system by the usual method, which involved going round and round it faster and faster until he achieved a sort of escape velocity and flew off at a tangent in a random direction, which he was now trying to identify and correct for.
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The Presidents job, is not to wield power himself, but to lead attention away from it.
Douglas Adams
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I am terribly proud of-I was born in Cambridge in 1952 and my initials are DNA!
Douglas Adams
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After a while he played with the pencil and the paper again and was delighted when he discovered how to make a mark with the one on the other. Various noises continued outside, but he didn't know whether they were real or not. He then talked to his table for a week to see how it would react.
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Assumptions are what we don't know we are making
Douglas Adams
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I teleported home last night with Ron and Sid and Meg Ron stole Meggy's heart away and I got Sidney's leg.
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I have always been absurdly, ridiculously tall. To give you an idea- when we went on school trips to Interesting and Improving Places, the form-master wouldn't say Meet under the clock tower, or Meet under the War Memorial, but Meet under Adams.
Douglas Adams
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How do I know the past is not a fiction conceived to reconcile the difference between my state of mind and the present.
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I like the cover, he said. Don't Panic. It's the first helpful or intelligible thing anybody's said to me all day.
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