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I say what it occurs to me to say when I think I hear people say things. More I cannot say.

Douglas Adams

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Douglas Adams
Age: 49 †
Born: 1952
Born: March 11
Died: 2001
Died: May 11
Comedian
Novelist
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Douglas Noel Adams
Douglas Noël Adams
Douglas N. Adams
Things
Think
Thinking
People
Occurs
Statistics
Hear
Cannot

More quotes by Douglas Adams

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...and the renewed shock had nearly made him spill his drink. He drained it quickly before anything serious happened to it. He then had another quick one to follow the first one down and check that it was all right.
Douglas Adams
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He would have felt safe if alongside the Dentrassis' underwear, the piles of Sqornshellous mattresses and the man from Betelgeuse holding up a small yellow fish and offering to put it in his ear he had been able to see just a small packet of cornflakes. But he couldn't, and he didn't feel safe.
Douglas Adams
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Lovers of print are simply confusing the plate for the food.
Douglas Adams
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Sherlock Holmes observed that once you have eliminated the impossible then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
Douglas Adams
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Nobody likes a whistler, particularly not the divinity that shapes our ends.
Douglas Adams
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Does God know he [exists]? Of course he does. Otherwise, you could not have asked the question, and I could not have answered.
Douglas Adams
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Marvin trudged on down the corridor, still moaning. ...and then of course I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left hand side... No? said Arthur grimly as he walked along beside him. Really? Oh yes, said Marvin, I mean I've asked for them to be replaced but no one ever listens. I can imagine.
Douglas Adams
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Don't you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn't developed all those filters which prevent us from seeing things that we don't expect to see.
Douglas Adams
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He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
Douglas Adams
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The story goes that I first had the idea for The HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy while lying drunk in a field in Innsbruck.
Douglas Adams
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Numbers written on restaurant bills within the confines of restaurants do not follow the same mathematical laws as numbers written on any other pieces of paper in any other parts of the Universe. This single fact took the scientific world by storm.
Douglas Adams
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Put away your worries, the world is a good and perfect place. It is in fact very easy.
Douglas Adams
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Yes it is,' said the Professor. 'Wait—' he motioned to Richard, who was about to go out again and investigate— 'let it be. It won't be long.' Richard stared in disbelief. 'You say there's a horse in your bathroom, and all you can do is stand there naming Beatles songs?' The Professor looked blankly at him.
Douglas Adams
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Ok, he said, I don't like to disturb you at what I know must be a difficult and distressing time for you, but I need to know first of all if you actually realize that this is a difficult and distressing time for you.
Douglas Adams
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I think we have different value systems. Well, mine's better.
Douglas Adams
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The difference between us and a computer is that, the computer is blindingly stupid, but it is capable of being stupid many, many million times a second.
Douglas Adams
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There was one planet off in the seventh dimension that got used as a ball in a game of intergalactic bar billiards. Got potted straight into a black hole.
Douglas Adams
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Rather than arriving five hours late and flustered, it would be better all around if he were to arrive five hours and a few extra minutes late, but triumphantly in command.
Douglas Adams
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And the most interesting natural structure? A giant, two-thousand-mile-long fish in orbit around Jupiter, according to a reliable report in the Weekly World News. The photograph was very convincing, and I'm only surprised that more-reputable journals like New Scientist, or even just The Sun, haven't followed up with more details. We should be told.
Douglas Adams
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Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it, said Marvin. And what happened? pressed Ford. It committed suicide, said Marvin and stalked off back to the Heart of Gold.
Douglas Adams