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I say what it occurs to me to say when I think I hear people say things. More I cannot say.
Douglas Adams
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Douglas Adams
Age: 49 †
Born: 1952
Born: March 11
Died: 2001
Died: May 11
Comedian
Novelist
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Douglas Noel Adams
Douglas Noël Adams
Douglas N. Adams
Cannot
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Think
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More quotes by Douglas Adams
Assumptions are the things we don't know we're making.
Douglas Adams
Here's what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that alcohol is a colourless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms.
Douglas Adams
There are some people you like immediately, some whom you think you might learn to like in the fullness of time, and some that you simply want to push away from you with a sharp stick.
Douglas Adams
Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
Douglas Adams
The moment at which two people, approaching from opposite ends of a long passageway, recognize each other and immediately pretend they haven t. This is to avoid the ghastly embarrassment of having to continue recognizing each other the whole length of the corridor.
Douglas Adams
... The truth of the matter is, that most English people don't know how to make tea anymore either, and most people drink cheap instant coffee instead, which is a pity, and gives Americans the impression that the English are just generally clueless about hot stimulants.
Douglas Adams
What is the point? We assume that every time we do anything we know what the consequences will be, i.e., more or less what we intend them to be. This is not only not always correct. It is wildly, crazily, stupidly, cross-eyed-blithering-insectly wrong!
Douglas Adams
Alltami (n.) The ancient art of being able to balance the hot and cold shower taps.
Douglas Adams
If you ever find you need help again, you know, if you're in trouble, need a hand out of a corner... Yeah? Please don't hesitate to get lost.
Douglas Adams
The more Susan waited, the more the doorbell didn't ring. Or the phone.
Douglas Adams
How do you know you're having fun if there's no one watching you have it?
Douglas Adams
If there was one thing life had taught her it was that there are times when you do not go back for your bag and times when you do. It had yet to teach her to distinguish between the two types of occasion.
Douglas Adams
My capacity for happiness, he added, you could fit into a matchbox without taking out the matches first
Douglas Adams
Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses have been specially designed to help people develop a relaxed attitude to danger. At the first hint of trouble, they turn totally black and thus prevent you from seeing anything that might alarm you.
Douglas Adams
I refuse to prove that I exist says God, for proof denies faith, and without faith, I am nothing. Oh, says man, but the Babel Fish is a dead give-away, isn't it? It proves You exist, and so therefore You don't. Q.E.D. Oh, I hadn't thought of that, says God, who promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
Douglas Adams
Why' is the only question that bothers people enough to have an entire letter of the alphabet named after it. The alphabet does not go 'A B C D What? When? How?' but it does go 'V W X Why? Z.
Douglas Adams
Siamese Cats have a way of staring at you. Those who have walked in on the Queen cleaning her teeth will know the expression.
Douglas Adams
To Trin Tragula's horror, the shock completely annihilated her brain but to his satisfaction he realized that he had proved conclusively that if life is going to exist in a Universe of this size, then the one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion.
Douglas Adams
To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.
Douglas Adams
Really, the moment you have any idea, the second thought that enters your mind after the original idea is, What is this? Is it a book, is it a movie, is it a this, is it a that, is it a short story, is it a breakfast cereal? Really, from that moment, your decision about what kind of thing it is then determines how it develops.
Douglas Adams