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If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

Douglas Adams

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Douglas Adams
Age: 49 †
Born: 1952
Born: March 11
Died: 2001
Died: May 11
Comedian
Novelist
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Douglas Noel Adams
Douglas Noël Adams
Douglas N. Adams
Assume
Smoking
Appropriate
Assuming
Fire
Action
Take
Tobacco
Cigarette

More quotes by Douglas Adams

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There are some oddities in the perspective with which we see the world.
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How can I tell, said the man, that the past isn't a fiction designed to account for the discrepancy between my immediate physical sensations and my state of mind?
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The story goes that I first had the idea for The HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy while lying drunk in a field in Innsbruck.
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There are two things in particular that it [the computer industry] failed to foresee: one was the coming of the Internet(...) the other was the fact that the century would end.
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Alltami (n.) The ancient art of being able to balance the hot and cold shower taps.
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I'm up to here with cool, okay? I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.
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I rarely end up where I was intending to go, but often I end up somewhere I needed to be.
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Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer.
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And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty deeds, to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before--and thus was the Empire forged.
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A fragrant breeze wandered up from the quiet sea, trailed along the beach, and drifted back to the sea again, wondering where to go next. On a mad impulse it went up to the beach again. It drifted back to sea.
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You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish. Unless of course, you play bass.
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A theory of the universe that states: If anyone finds out what the universe is for, it will disappear and be replaced by something more bizarrely inexplicable.
Douglas Adams
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When the idea comes, I often can't remember where it came from. I remember very little about writing the first series of Hitchhiker's. It's almost as if someone else wrote it.
Douglas Adams
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I find that writing is a constant battle with exactly the same problems you've always had.
Douglas Adams
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Ok, he said, I don't like to disturb you at what I know must be a difficult and distressing time for you, but I need to know first of all if you actually realize that this is a difficult and distressing time for you.
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We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.
Douglas Adams
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Siamese Cats have a way of staring at you. Those who have walked in on the Queen cleaning her teeth will know the expression.
Douglas Adams
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The teacher usually learns more than the pupils. Isn't that true? It would be hard to learn much less than my pupils, came a low growl from somewhere on the table, without undergoing a pre-frontal lobotomy.
Douglas Adams
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I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my life-style
Douglas Adams
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The simple truth is that interstellar distances will not fit into the human imagination.
Douglas Adams