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If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

Douglas Adams

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Douglas Adams
Age: 49 †
Born: 1952
Born: March 11
Died: 2001
Died: May 11
Comedian
Novelist
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Douglas Noel Adams
Douglas Noël Adams
Douglas N. Adams
Appropriate
Assuming
Fire
Action
Take
Tobacco
Cigarette
Assume
Smoking

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Please call me Eddie if it will help you to relax.
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All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others.
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If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a nonworking cat.
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If somebody votes for a party that you don't agree with, you're free to argue about it as much as you like. ... But on the other hand, if somebody says, 'I mustn't move a light switch on a Saturday,' you say, 'Fine, I respect that.'
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No one really knows what mattresses are meant to gain from their lives either. They are large, friendly, pocket-sprung creatures that live quiet private lives in the marshes of Sqornshellous Zeta. Many of them get caught, slaughtered, dried out, shipped out and slept on. None of them seems to mind this and all of them are called Zem.
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You just come along with me and have a good time. The Galaxy's a fun place. You'll need to have this fish in your ear.
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He felt like an old sponge steeped in paraffin and left in the sun to dry.
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There's always a moment when you start to fall out of love, whether it's with a person or an idea or a cause, even if it's one you only narrate to yourself years after the event: a tiny thing, a wrong word, a false note, which means that things can never be quite the same again.
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This man is the bee's knees, Arthur, he is the wasp's nipples. He is, I would go so far as to say, the entire set of erogenous zones of every major flying insect of the Western world.
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I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my life-style
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Here's what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that alcohol is a colourless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms.
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I'm up to here with cool, okay? I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.
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Now the world has gone to bed, Darkness won't engulf my head, I can see by infrared, How I hate the night. Now I lay me down to sleep, Try to count electric sheep, Sweet dream wishes you can keep, How I hate the night. -Marvin
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I think we have different value systems. Well, mine's better.
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Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
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Well the hours are good...' ... 'but now you come to mention it, most of the actual minutes are pretty lousy.
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Pardon me for breathing, which I never do any way so I don’t know why I bother to say it, oh God, I’m so depressed.
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Rather than arriving five hours late and flustered, it would be better all around if he were to arrive five hours and a few extra minutes late, but triumphantly in command.
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Words used carelessly, as if they did not matter in any serious way, often allowed otherwise well-guarded truths to seep through.
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How many roads must a man walk down?
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