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If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

Douglas Adams

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Douglas Adams
Age: 49 †
Born: 1952
Born: March 11
Died: 2001
Died: May 11
Comedian
Novelist
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Douglas Noel Adams
Douglas Noël Adams
Douglas N. Adams
Fire
Action
Take
Tobacco
Cigarette
Assume
Smoking
Appropriate
Assuming

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Words used carelessly, as if they did not matter in any serious way, often allowed otherwise well-guarded truths to seep through.
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The Presidents job, is not to wield power himself, but to lead attention away from it.
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For as long as he could remember, he’d suffered from a vague nagging feeling of being not all there.
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Even the evil-looking bird perched on a rod in the bar had stopped screeching out the names and addresses of local contract killers, which was a service it provided for free.
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What is the point? We assume that every time we do anything we know what the consequences will be, i.e., more or less what we intend them to be. This is not only not always correct. It is wildly, crazily, stupidly, cross-eyed-blithering-insectly wrong!
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Anything that thinks logically can be fooled by something else that thinks at least as logically as it does.
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Solutions nearly always come from the direction you least expect, which means there's no point trying to look in that direction because it won't be coming from there.
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Earth: mostly harmless
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A theory of the universe that states: If anyone finds out what the universe is for, it will disappear and be replaced by something more bizarrely inexplicable.
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I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my life-style
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I love deadlines. I like the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
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2,000 years ago one man got nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be if everyone was nice to each other for a change.
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How can I tell, said the man, that the past isn't a fiction designed to account for the discrepancy between my immediate physical sensations and my state of mind?
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The bowler approached the wicket at a lope, a trot, and then a run. He suddenly exploded in a flurry of arms and legs, out of which flew a ball.
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WOKING (vb.) To enter the kitchen with the precise determination to perform something only to forget what it is just before you do it.
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Dennis Hutch had stepped up into the top seat when its founder had died of a lethal overdose of brick wall, taken while under the influence of a Ferrari and a bottle of tequila.
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There are some people you like immediately, some whom you think you might learn to like in the fullness of time, and some that you simply want to push away from you with a sharp stick.
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I tend to get very suspicious of anything that thinks it's art while it's being created.
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Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.
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There are two things you should remember when dealing with parallel universes. One, they're not really parallel, and two, they're not really universes
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