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Well the hours are good...' ... 'but now you come to mention it, most of the actual minutes are pretty lousy.

Douglas Adams

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Douglas Adams
Age: 49 †
Born: 1952
Born: March 11
Died: 2001
Died: May 11
Comedian
Novelist
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Douglas Noel Adams
Douglas Noël Adams
Douglas N. Adams
Actual
Minutes
Pretty
Hours
Wells
Come
Well
Lousy
Good
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He inched his way up the corridor as if he would rather be yarding his way down it, which was true.
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Please relax, said the voice pleasantly, like a stewardess in an airliner with only one wing and two engines one of which is on fire, you are perfectly safe.
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Generally, old media don't die. They just have to grow old gracefully. Guess what, we still have stone masons. They haven't been the primary purveyors of the written word for a while now of course, but they still have a role because you wouldn't want a TV screen on your headstone.
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If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a nonworking cat.
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If you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else.
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Life... is like a grapefruit. Well, it's sort of orangey-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It's got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have half a one for breakfast.
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Ford... you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.
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I tend to get very suspicious of anything that thinks it's art while it's being created.
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Hey, this is terrific! he said. Someone down there is trying to kill us! Terrific, said Arthur. But don't you see what this means? Yes. We are going to die. Yes, but apart from that. Apart from that?! It means we must be on to something! How soon can we get off it?
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The dew has fallen with a particularly sickening thud this morning.
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All through my life I've had this strange unaccountable feeling that something was going on in the world, something big, even sinister, and no one would tell me what it was. No, said the old man, that's just perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the Universe has that.
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Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
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Ford looked at him severely. And no sneaky knocking down Mr Dent's house whilst he's away, alright? he said. The mere thought, growled Mr Prosser, hadn't even begun to speculate, he continued, settling himself back, about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.
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Listen, three eyes, he said, don't you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.
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Why are people born? Why do they die? Why do they want to spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches?
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Can't stand all these poisonous creatures, all these snakes and insects and fish and things. Wretched things, biting everybody. And then people expect me to tell them what to do about it. I'll tell them what to do. Don't get bitten in the first place. (quoting Dr. Struan Sutherland)
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Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer.
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How do you know you're having fun if there's no one watching you have it?
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If I want to read something that's really giving me something serious and fundamental to think about, about the human condition, if you like, or what we're all doing here, or what's going on, then I'd rather read something by a scientist in the life sciences, like Richard Dawkins, for instance.
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The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.
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