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If you ever find you need help again, you know, if you're in trouble, need a hand out of a corner... Yeah? Please don't hesitate to get lost.
Douglas Adams
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Douglas Adams
Age: 49 †
Born: 1952
Born: March 11
Died: 2001
Died: May 11
Comedian
Novelist
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Douglas Noel Adams
Douglas Noël Adams
Douglas N. Adams
Needs
Hand
Help
Lost
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Helping
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Yeah
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More quotes by Douglas Adams
I can see we're in for a fabulous evening's apocalypse.
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I've never understood all this fuss people make about the dawn. I've seen a few and they're never as good as the photographs, which have the additional advantage of being things you can look at when you're in the right frame of mind, which is usually around lunchtime.
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Here's what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that alcohol is a colourless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms.
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Please relax, said the voice pleasantly, like a stewardess in an airliner with only one wing and two engines one of which is on fire, you are perfectly safe.
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Looking up into the night sky is looking into infinity — distance is incomprehensible and therefore meaningless
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The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the 'Star Spangled Banner', but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish.
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Aberystwyth (n.) A nostalgic yearning which is in itself more pleasant than the thing being yearned for.
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You ARE Zaphod Beeblebrox?' 'Yeah,' said Zaphod, 'but don't shout it out or they'll all want one.' 'THE Zaphod Beeblebrox?' 'No, just A Zaphod Beeblebrox, didn't you hear I come in six packs?' 'But sir,' it squealed, 'I just heard on the sub-ether radio report. It said you were dead...' 'Yeah, that's right, I just haven't stopped moving yet.
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What a wonderfully exciting cough,' said the little man, quite startled by it, 'do you mind if I join you?' And with that he launched into the most extraordinary and spectacular fit of coughing which caught Arthur so much by surprise that he started to choke violently, discovered he was already doing it and got thoroughly confused.
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Sherlock Holmes observed that once you have eliminated the impossible then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
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... The truth of the matter is, that most English people don't know how to make tea anymore either, and most people drink cheap instant coffee instead, which is a pity, and gives Americans the impression that the English are just generally clueless about hot stimulants.
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The great thing about being the only species that makes a distinction between right and wrong is that we can make up the rules for ourselves as we go along.
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A mobile phone needs a manual in the way that a teacup doesn't
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Arthur felt happy. He was terribly pleased that the day was for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago he had decided he would go mad, and now here he was already chasing a Chesterfield sofa across the fields of prehistoric Earth.
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Driving a Porsche in London is like bringing a Ming vase to a football game.
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I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer
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In the center lay the exploded carcass of a lonely sperm whale that hadn't lived long enough to be disappointed with its lot.
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Earth: mostly harmless
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But what about the End of the Universe? We'll miss the big moment. I've seen it. It's rubbish, said Zaphod,nothing but a gnab gib. A what? Opposite of a big bang. Come on, let's get zappy.
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After a while he played with the pencil and the paper again and was delighted when he discovered how to make a mark with the one on the other. Various noises continued outside, but he didn't know whether they were real or not. He then talked to his table for a week to see how it would react.
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