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Earth: mostly harmless

Douglas Adams

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Douglas Adams
Age: 49 †
Born: 1952
Born: March 11
Died: 2001
Died: May 11
Comedian
Novelist
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Douglas Noel Adams
Douglas Noël Adams
Douglas N. Adams
Harmless
Mostly
Earth

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Fifteen years was a long time to be stranded anywhere, particularly somewhere as mind-boggingly dull as Earth.
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The teacher usually learns more than the pupils. Isn't that true? It would be hard to learn much less than my pupils, came a low growl from somewhere on the table, without undergoing a pre-frontal lobotomy.
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Ok, he said, I don't like to disturb you at what I know must be a difficult and distressing time for you, but I need to know first of all if you actually realize that this is a difficult and distressing time for you.
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The idea was fantastically, wildly improbable. But like most fantastically, wildly improbable ideas it was at least as worthy of consideration as a more mundane one to which the facts had been strenuously bent to fit.
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The reason why so many sects hang around airports looking for converts: they know that people there are at their most vulnerable and perplexed, and ready to accept any kind of guidance.
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Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen. [...] Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer.
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What does it matter? Science has achieved some wonderful things, of course, but I'd far rather be happy than right any day.
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Technology is a word that describes something that doesn't work yet.
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The point is, you see, said Ford, that there is no point in driving yourself mad trying to stop yourself going mad. You might just as well give in and save your sanity for later.
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God is no longer an explanation of anything, but has instead become something that would itself need an insurmountable amount of explaining.
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There are two things you should remember when dealing with parallel universes. One, they're not really parallel, and two, they're not really universes
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Really, the moment you have any idea, the second thought that enters your mind after the original idea is, What is this? Is it a book, is it a movie, is it a this, is it a that, is it a short story, is it a breakfast cereal? Really, from that moment, your decision about what kind of thing it is then determines how it develops.
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Siamese Cats have a way of staring at you. Those who have walked in on the Queen cleaning her teeth will know the expression.
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It was his subconscious which told him this - that infuriating part of a person's brain which never responds to interrogation, merely gives little meaningful nudges and then sits humming quietly to itself, saying nothing.
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I like the cover, he said. Don't Panic. It's the first helpful or intelligible thing anybody's said to me all day.
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So you can imagine what happens when a mainland species gets introduced to an island. It would be like introducing Al Capone, Genghis Khan and Rupert Murdoch into the Isle of Wight - the locals wouldn't stand a chance.
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He has personality problems beyond the dreams of analysts.
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Imagine a puddle waking up one morning and thinking, This is an interesting world I find myself in, an interesting hole I find myself in fits me rather neatly, doesn't it? In fact it fits me staggeringly well! It must have been made to have me in it!
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A theory of the universe that states: If anyone finds out what the universe is for, it will disappear and be replaced by something more bizarrely inexplicable.
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Aberystwyth (n.) A nostalgic yearning which is in itself more pleasant than the thing being yearned for.
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