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Pardon me for breathing, which I never do any way so I don’t know why I bother to say it, oh God, I’m so depressed.

Douglas Adams

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Douglas Adams
Age: 49 †
Born: 1952
Born: March 11
Died: 2001
Died: May 11
Comedian
Novelist
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Douglas Noel Adams
Douglas Noël Adams
Douglas N. Adams
Pardon
Depressed
Bother
Breathing
Way
Never
Marvin
Paranoid

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Don't you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn't developed all those filters which prevent us from seeing things that we don't expect to see.
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Here, for whatever reason, is the world. And here it stays. With me on it.
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Even a manically depressed robot is better to talk to than nobody.
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The story goes that I first had the idea for The HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy while lying drunk in a field in Innsbruck.
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Beethoven tells you what it's like to be Beethoven and Mozart tells you what it's like to be human. Bach tells you what it's like to be the universe.
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And then, just when you think that you have experienced all the wonders that this world has to offer, you round a peak and suddenly think you're doing the whole thing over again, but this time on drugs.
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I think we have different value systems. Well, mine's better.
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After a while he played with the pencil and the paper again and was delighted when he discovered how to make a mark with the one on the other. Various noises continued outside, but he didn't know whether they were real or not. He then talked to his table for a week to see how it would react.
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Just believe everything I tell you, and it will all be very, very simple.' Ah, well, I'm not sure I believe that.
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There's always a moment when you start to fall out of love, whether it's with a person or an idea or a cause, even if it's one you only narrate to yourself years after the event: a tiny thing, a wrong word, a false note, which means that things can never be quite the same again.
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Driving a Porsche in London is like bringing a Ming vase to a football game.
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The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the 'Star Spangled Banner', but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish.
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I'm up to here with cool, okay? I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.
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Even the evil-looking bird perched on a rod in the bar had stopped screeching out the names and addresses of local contract killers, which was a service it provided for free.
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Anything invented after you’re thirty-five is against the natural order of things
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We can't win against obsession. They care, we don't. They win.
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Does God know he [exists]? Of course he does. Otherwise, you could not have asked the question, and I could not have answered.
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Zaphod Beeblebrox, adventurer, ex-hippie, good-timer (crook? quite possibly), manic self-publicist, terrible bad at personal relationships, often thought to be completely out to lunch.
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He was constantly reminded of how startlingly different a place the world was when viewed from a point only three feet to the left.
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If they don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.
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