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It's reassuring to realize that everybody is as stupid as you are and that all we are doing when we are standing in the kitchen wondering what we came in here for is woking.

Douglas Adams

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Douglas Adams
Age: 49 †
Born: 1952
Born: March 11
Died: 2001
Died: May 11
Comedian
Novelist
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Douglas Noel Adams
Douglas Noël Adams
Douglas N. Adams
Kitchen
Standing
Realize
Stupid
Realizing
Wonder
Everybody
Reassuring
Came
Wondering

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I am terribly proud of-I was born in Cambridge in 1952 and my initials are DNA!
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The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it which the merely improbable lacks. How often have you been presented with an apparently rational explanation of something that works in all respects other than one, which is just that it is hopelessly improbable? Your instinct is to say, 'Yes, but he or she simply wouldn't do that.
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We can't win against obsession. They care, we don't. They win.
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I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.
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No one really knows what mattresses are meant to gain from their lives either. They are large, friendly, pocket-sprung creatures that live quiet private lives in the marshes of Sqornshellous Zeta. Many of them get caught, slaughtered, dried out, shipped out and slept on. None of them seems to mind this and all of them are called Zem.
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How can I tell, said the man, that the past isn't a fiction designed to account for the discrepancy between my immediate physical sensations and my state of mind?
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Why' is the only question that bothers people enough to have an entire letter of the alphabet named after it. The alphabet does not go 'A B C D What? When? How?' but it does go 'V W X Why? Z.
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Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?
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You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
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He would have felt safe if alongside the Dentrassis' underwear, the piles of Sqornshellous mattresses and the man from Betelgeuse holding up a small yellow fish and offering to put it in his ear he had been able to see just a small packet of cornflakes. But he couldn't, and he didn't feel safe.
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Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
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Presidents don't have power. Their job is to draw attention away from it.
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In moments of great stress, every life form that exists gives out a tiny subliminal signal.
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In cases of major discrepancy its always reality thats got it wrong ... reality is frequently inaccurate.
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Even the evil-looking bird perched on a rod in the bar had stopped screeching out the names and addresses of local contract killers, which was a service it provided for free.
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Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?
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It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
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There are some people you like immediately, some whom you think you might learn to like in the fullness of time, and some that you simply want to push away from you with a sharp stick.
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And so the problem remained lots of the people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones with digital watches.
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Marvin started his ironical humming again. Zaphod hit him and he shut up.
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