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I think we have different value systems. Well, mine's better.

Douglas Adams

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Douglas Adams
Age: 49 †
Born: 1952
Born: March 11
Died: 2001
Died: May 11
Comedian
Novelist
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Douglas Noel Adams
Douglas Noël Adams
Douglas N. Adams
Well
Arthur
Different
Systems
Think
Mines
Thinking
Mine
Value
Values
Better
Wells

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If they don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.
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Life,” said Marvin dolefully, “loathe it or ignore it, you can’t like it.
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I wanted to be John Cleese. It took me some time to realise that the job was taken.
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Fiordland, a vast tract of mountainous terrain that occupies the south-west corner of South Island, New Zealand, is one of the most astounding pieces of land anywhere on God's earth, and one's first impulse, standing on a cliff top surveying it all, is simply to burst into spontaneous applause.
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God's Final Message to His Creation: 'We apologize for the inconvenience.
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Mc Donalds he thought. There's no longer any such thing as a Mc Donalds hamburger. He passed out. When he came around seconds later he found he was sobbing for his mother.
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The kakapo is a bird out of time. If you look one in its large, round, greeny-brown face, it has a look of serenely innocent incomprehension that makes you want to hug it and tell it that everything will be all right, thought you know that it probably will not be.
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The point is, you see, said Ford, that there is no point in driving yourself mad trying to stop yourself going mad. You might just as well give in and save your sanity for later.
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It was his subconscious which told him this - that infuriating part of a person's brain which never responds to interrogation, merely gives little meaningful nudges and then sits humming quietly to itself, saying nothing.
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To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.
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There is a piece of me that likes to fondly imagine my maverick and rebellious nature, but, more accurately, I like to have a nice and cosy institution that I can rub up against a little bit.
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And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty deeds, to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before--and thus was the Empire forged.
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All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others.
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In moments of great stress, every life form that exists gives out a tiny subliminal signal.
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It's reassuring to realize that everybody is as stupid as you are and that all we are doing when we are standing in the kitchen wondering what we came in here for is woking.
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If you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else.
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Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen. [...] Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer.
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