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The more Susan waited, the more the doorbell didn't ring. Or the phone.

Douglas Adams

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Douglas Adams
Age: 49 †
Born: 1952
Born: March 11
Died: 2001
Died: May 11
Comedian
Novelist
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Douglas Noel Adams
Douglas Noël Adams
Douglas N. Adams
Didn
Doorbell
Susan
Waited
Ring
Phone
Rings
Phones

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For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.
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I refuse to prove that I exist says God, for proof denies faith, and without faith, I am nothing. Oh, says man, but the Babel Fish is a dead give-away, isn't it? It proves You exist, and so therefore You don't. Q.E.D. Oh, I hadn't thought of that, says God, who promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
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Arthur felt happy. He was terribly pleased that the day was for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago he had decided he would go mad, and now here he was already chasing a Chesterfield sofa across the fields of prehistoric Earth.
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When people you greatly admire appear to be thinking deep thoughts, they probably are thinking about lunch.
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Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.
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I find that writing is a constant battle with exactly the same problems you've always had.
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She had what it took: great hair, a profound understanding of strategic lip gloss, the intelligence to understand the world and a tiny secret interior deadness which meant she didn’t care.
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...they discovered only a small asteroid inhabited by a solitary old man who claimed repeatedly that nothing was true, though he was later discovered to be lying.
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He felt like an old sponge steeped in paraffin and left in the sun to dry.
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There's nothing worse than sitting down to write a novel and saying, Well, okay, I'm going to do something of high artistic worth. It's funny.
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It was one of those pictures that children are supposed to like but don't. Full of endearing little animals doing endearing things, you know?
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The difference between us and a computer is that, the computer is blindingly stupid, but it is capable of being stupid many, many million times a second.
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But what about the End of the Universe? We'll miss the big moment. I've seen it. It's rubbish, said Zaphod,nothing but a gnab gib. A what? Opposite of a big bang. Come on, let's get zappy.
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The first ten million years were the worst, said Marvin, and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million years I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.
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I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?
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Beethoven tells you what it's like to be Beethoven and Mozart tells you what it's like to be human. Bach tells you what it's like to be the universe.
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Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is.
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Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.
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I rarely end up where I was intending to go, but often I end up somewhere I needed to be.
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The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.
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