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The quality of any advice anybody has to offer has to be judged against the quality of life they actually lead.

Douglas Adams

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Douglas Adams
Age: 49 †
Born: 1952
Born: March 11
Died: 2001
Died: May 11
Comedian
Novelist
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Douglas Noel Adams
Douglas Noël Adams
Douglas N. Adams
Advice
Anybody
Quality
Actually
Smelly
Life
Judged
Offer
Offers
Lead

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I don't say that I don't believe in God because that implies that there is a God for me not to believe in.
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All through my life I've had this strange unaccountable feeling that something was going on in the world, something big, even sinister, and no one would tell me what it was. No, said the old man, that's just perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the Universe has that.
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When the girl sitting at the next table looked away from a moment, Dirk leaned over and took her coffee. He knew that he was perfectly safe doing this because she would simply not be able to believe that this had happened.
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He turned slowly like a fridge door opening.
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A mobile phone needs a manual in the way that a teacup doesn't
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The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.
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Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.
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Ok, he said, I don't like to disturb you at what I know must be a difficult and distressing time for you, but I need to know first of all if you actually realize that this is a difficult and distressing time for you.
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Anything invented after you’re thirty-five is against the natural order of things
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Pardon me for breathing, which I never do any way so I don’t know why I bother to say it, oh God, I’m so depressed.
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I think we have different value systems. Well, mine's better.
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Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.
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The Presidents job, is not to wield power himself, but to lead attention away from it.
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Zaphod did not want to tangle with them and, deciding that just as discretion is the better part of valor, so was cowardice is the better part of discretion, he valiantly hid himself in a closet.
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Presidents don't have power. Their job is to draw attention away from it.
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When the idea comes, I often can't remember where it came from. I remember very little about writing the first series of Hitchhiker's. It's almost as if someone else wrote it.
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Please relax, said the voice pleasantly, like a stewardess in an airliner with only one wing and two engines one of which is on fire, you are perfectly safe.
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The seat received him in a loose and distant kind of way, like an aunt who disapproves of the last fifteen years of your life and will therefore furnish you with a basic sherry, but refuses to catch your eye.
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Ballycumber (ba-li-KUM-ber) n. One of the six half-read books lying somewhere in your bed.
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The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the 'Star Spangled Banner', but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish.
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